Author Topic: Enjoy Udarawana ;)  (Read 2563 times)

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Offline Cleo.

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Enjoy Udarawana ;)
« on: November 24, 2005, 10:43:29 AM »
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TWO RED EARS :P 

Uduravana with two red ears went to his doctor. The
doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he
answered,
"I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but
instead of picking up the phone accidentally picked up
the iron and stuck it to my ear."
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief.
"But .. What happened to your other ear?" "That idiot
called back after sometime"


THE BET  :D

Once Uduravana's friend saw that Uduravana was very
depressed. "What happened?" asked his friend.
"Man, I lost Rs. 1000 in a bet yesterday. ""How come?"

"Well, yesterday, the one-day match between Sri Lanka
and England was being shown live on TV. I bet Rs.500
that Sri Lanka would win, but I lost the bet."
"But that's only Rs. 500, where did the rest go?"
Then he replied "Man, I bet on the highlights too!"




AIDS :P

Once Uduravana and two of his friends were waiting for
a bus when a dangerous-looking guy approached them. He
suddenly pulled out a syringe with blood inside it and
said in a menacing tone - "Give me all your valuables
or I'll pierce you with this needle. This contains
AIDS infected blood!"
Our friends were naturally alarmed - all except
Uduravana. One of them immediately gave away all his
valuables. The other bargained with the stranger and
gave away half of his belongings. Uduravana, however,
was unfazed. He refused to part with his money. In
anger and frustration, the guy pricked Uduravana with
the needle and ran away. The alarmed two men asked
Uduravana - "How could you do this? Now you will get
AIDS surely!"
Uduravana coolly replied - "No! I won't! I am wearing
a condom".


CLOCK TOWER  :D

Uduravana is in Anuradhapura. He is walking on a
street which has a Clock Tower (of course a Premadasa
one) when someone asks him if he wants to buy the
clock on the Tower. Uduravana says "Yes". "Give me a
thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder."
The man took the thousand and disappeared. Having
waited for several hours Uduravana figured he was
taken it . On the next day the Uduravana is again
walking along the same street and the same man asks
him to buy the clock. "Give me a thousand rupees and
I'll go get a ladder."
The Uduravana gives him the thousand and says "I am
not a fool. This time, you wait and I'll go get a
ladder."



FOURTH CHILD  :lol:

This happened when Udurawana's 4th child was born. He
fills data in the birth certificate.
Mother: Sri Lankan.
Father: Sri Lankan.
Kid: Chinese.
"How come you write "Chinese" when both parents are
Sri Lankan?"
says Udurawana "Ahhh... I read in the newspaper, that
the every 4th person born on Earth now is a Chinese."
[/size]
« Last Edit: November 24, 2005, 10:47:28 AM by CLEOpAtRa »

Offline Tiny

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Re: Enjoy Udarawana ;)
« Reply #1 on: November 24, 2005, 02:28:58 PM »
 :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
ŜŵёёŦŷ ŁŧŧŁё ≈ht≈ ĢĭŘŁ Ť įn

Offline Peach

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Re: Enjoy Udarawana ;)
« Reply #2 on: November 24, 2005, 05:19:44 PM »
 :D :lol: :D :lol: :D
~Peach~

Offline Sachitha

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Re: Enjoy Udarawana ;)
« Reply #3 on: November 25, 2005, 05:21:45 PM »
So Many thx akki

Offline Cleo.

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Re: Enjoy Udarawana ;)
« Reply #4 on: May 04, 2006, 09:33:35 AM »
MarriageUdurawana's Girl Friend:   I'm one year elder than you....will it be effected badly to  our marriage?

Udurawana :     No, not at all.....We'll marry in next year


****************

Hidden Camera's




Mrs.Udurawana caught Udurawana searching high and low all
around his living room.

Mrs. Udurawana: "What are you searching for?"

Mr. Udurawana: "Hidden cameras!"

Mrs. Udurawana: "And what makes you think that there are hidden cameras here?"

Mr. Udurawana: "That guy on TV knows exactly what I am doing. Every few minutes he keeps saying, 'You are watching Rupavahini channel'. How does he
know that?"
 



__________________________________________
Relaxing




Udurawana was enjoying the sun at the beach in America.A lady came and asked him, "Are you relaxing?"

Uduravana answered, "No, I am Udurawana"

Another guy came and asked him the same question.

Uduravana answered, "No! No! Me Udurawana!"

A third one came and asked him the same question again.
Uduravana was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place.

While walking he saw another Sri Lankan soaking in the sun.

He went up to him and asked,

"Are you Relaxing?"

The other man was a lot more educated and answered, "Yes, I am relaxing."

Uduravana slapped him on his face and said,
 
"Stupid, idiot. Everyone is looking for you and you are sitting over here!"



__________________________________________

Heaven



 
Udurawana died and went to heaven.

When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules are in effect due to the advances in education on earth. In order to gain  admittance each soul must answer two simple questions:

1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".
2. How many seconds are there in a year?

Udurawana thought for a few minutes and answered.

1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and     Tomorrow.
2. There are 12 seconds in a year.

Saint Peter said,

"OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow answer, even though  it's not the answer I expected. But how did you get 12 seconds in a year?"

Uduravana replied,

"Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, etc..."

Saint Peter opens the gate without another word.



__________________________________________
The Wash Basin



Udurawana goes to a hotel in Colombo and eats heartily.

After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead.

The manager comes running and asks him,
 
"Sir, what are you doing?"

Udurawana replies, " Read this board here, it says "Wash Basin".
 



__________________________________________

English Exam





Udurawana finished his English exam and came out.

His friends asked him how he did his exam. He replied
"Exam was okay, but for the past tense of THINK, I thought, thought, and thought, at last I wrote THUNK!!!"



__________________________________________



 



Answer the following questions in brief



 

Udurawana is appearing for his University final examination.

He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes,and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes his shirt and throws it away as well, followed by his pant, socks and watch.

The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on.

" I am only following the instructions here," he says, " it says here,   "Answer the following questions in brief ".
 



__________________________________________

Essay




The English teacher told all the students in the class to write an essay on a
cricket match. All were busy writing except Udurawana
He has written. "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH !!! "
 



__________________________________________
The Postman




The Postman: I have to come 5 miles to deliver you this parcel

Udurawana : Why did you come so far ? Instead you could have posted it.
 
__________________________________________



Coffee Shop





Udurawana and his wife went to a coffee shop .

Udurawana said...   Hurry Up Drink quickly.....!!!.

His Wife asked why...???
Udurawana said
Hot Coffee Rs. 5 and, Cold Coffee Rs 10"
__________________________________________



 
Letter to his Son



Udurawana was writing something very slowly.
A Friend came and askes:
" Why are you writing so slowly? "

Udurawana replies
"  I'm writing to my 6 years old son,... he can't  read very fast.
 



__________________________________________


How I Look When Im Sleeping




Udurawana was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed.

his wife sees this and asks:
 
What you are doing.....????

Udurawana replies,

I'm seeing how I look while im sleeping....!!!!



Mewa Repeat wela nam Anyone can delete this,,,  :D

Offline saradiel

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Re: Enjoy Udarawana ;)
« Reply #5 on: May 04, 2006, 09:44:51 AM »
 :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Robin Hood wage lak diwa pathala u namai
Uthuwan kande soora Saradiel mamai

Offline Hirud

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Re: Enjoy Udarawana ;)
« Reply #6 on: May 08, 2006, 02:48:35 AM »
 :shock:

 meka kiyavala udurawana venna matath asa hituna....man meeta passe exam liyanna baya ne.. :P



Offline anishaa

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Re: Enjoy Udarawana ;)
« Reply #7 on: May 10, 2006, 01:45:31 AM »
 :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Offline anishaa

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Re: Enjoy Udarawana ;)
« Reply #8 on: May 10, 2006, 01:46:26 AM »
udurawana mam hitahnne ape sardail ayyage cousin kenek wagee :lol: