WHAT A WIFE SAYS...AND MEANS*
*The wife says: You want
The wife means: You want *
*The wife says: We need
The wife means: I want*
*The wife says: Do what you want
The wife means: You ll pay for this later*
*The wife says: We need to talk
The wife means: I need to complain*
*The wife says: This kitchen is so inconvenient
The wife means: I want a new house.*
*The wife says: I want new curtains.
The wife means: Also carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper!*
*The wife says: I need wedding shoes.
The wife means: The other forty pairs are the wrong shade of white.*
*The wife says: Hang the picture there
The wife means: No, I mean hang it there!*
*The wife says: I heard a noise
The wife means: I noticed you were almost asleep.*
*The wife says: Do you love me?
The wife means: I m going to ask for something expensive.*
*The wife says: How much do you love me?
The wife means: I did something today you re not going to like.*
*The wife says: Am I fat?
The wife means: Tell me I m beautiful.*
*The wife says: You have to learn to communicate.
The wife means: Just agree with me.*
*The wife says: Yes
The wife means: No*
*The wife says: No
The wife means: No*
*The wife says: Maybe
The wife means: No*
*The wife says: I m sorry
The wife means: You ll be sorry*
*The wife says: Nothing.
The wife means: Everything.*