Author Topic: kids in school think quick  (Read 1971 times)

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Offline Cleo.

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kids in school think quick
« on: July 17, 2006, 08:46:01 AM »
TEACHER    :    Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA         :    Here it is!
TEACHER    :    Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS          :    Maria!

TEACHER     :    Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK          :    Because of the sign.
TEACHER     :    What sign?
FRANK          :    The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

TEACHER:   John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN       :   You told me to do it without using tables!

TEACHER    :   Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
GLENN         :    K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER      :    No, that's wrong
GLENN         :    Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!

TEACHER     :    Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD      :    H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER     :    What are you talking about?
DONALD      :    Yesterday you said it's H to O!

TEACHER      :   Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we
                         didnít have ten years ago.
WINNIE        :    Me!

TEACHER    :    Goss, why do you always get so dirty?
GOSS          :    Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

TEACHER    :    Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
MILLIE        :    I is...
TEACHER    :    No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."
MILLIE         :    All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

TEACHER    :    Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
TINO           : Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."

TEACHER     : George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry
                      tree, but also admitted doing it. Now, Louie, do you know why
                       his  father didn't punish him?"
LOUIS          : Because George still had the ax in his hand.

TEACHER      :  Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say  prayers before eating?
SIMON          :    No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

TEACHER      :  Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as
                            your  brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE           :    No, teacher, it's the same dog!

TEACHER           : Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when                 
                            people  are no longer interested?

HAROLD               :     A teacher.

OMG !  :shock:  :shock:  :o  :lol:


Offline Cleo.

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Re: kids in school think quick
« Reply #1 on: September 25, 2006, 09:00:05 AM »

Offline Cleo.

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Re: Kids in church - hilarious!
« Reply #2 on: October 18, 2006, 07:50:57 AM »
(From Subo's e-mail)


3-year-old  Reese:

"Our Father, Who does  art in heaven,

Harold is His  name.


 :lol:  :P  :D   :)  :lol:  :P  :D   :)

A little boy was  overheard praying:

"Lord, if you can't  make me a better boy, don't worry about it.

I'm having a real good  time like I am."

 :lol:  :P  :D   :)  :lol:  :P  :D   :)

After the christening  of his baby brother in church,

Jason sobbed all the  way home in the back seat of the car.

His father asked him  three times what was wrong.

Finally, the boy  replied,

"That preacher said he  wanted us brought up in a Christian home,

and I wanted to stay  with you guys."

 :lol:  :P  :D   :)  :lol:  :P  :D   :)

I had been teaching my  three-year old daughter, Caitlin,

the Lord's Prayer for  several evenings at bedtime.

She would repeat after  me the lines from the prayer.

Finally, she decided to  go solo.

I listened with pride  as she carefully enunciated each word,

right up to the end of  the prayer:

"Lead us not into  temptation," she prayed,

"but deliver us from  E-mail."

 :lol:  :P  :D   :)  :lol:  :P  :D   :)

One particular  four-year-old prayed,

"And forgive us our  trash baskets

as we forgive those who  put trash in our baskets."

 :lol:  :P  :D   :)  :lol:  :P  :D   :)

A Sunday school teacher  asked her children as they

were on the way to  church service,

"And why is it  necessary to be quiet in church?"

One bright little girl  replied,

"Because people are  sleeping."

 :lol:  :P  :D   :)  :lol:  :P  :D   :)

Six-year-old Angie and  her four-year-old

brother, Joel, were  sitting together in church.

Joel giggled, sang, and  talked out loud.

Finally, his big sister  had had enough.

"You're not supposed to  talk out loud in church."

"Why? Who's going to  stop me?" Joel asked.

Angie pointed to the  back of the church and said,

"See those two men  standing by the door?

They're  hushers."

 :lol:  :P  :D   :)  :lol:  :P  :D   :)

A mother was preparing  pancakes for her sons,Kevin 5, and Ryan 3.

The boys began to argue  over who would get the first pancake.

Their mother saw the  opportunity for a moral lesson.

"If Jesus were sitting  here, He would say,

'Let my brother have  the first pancake, I can wait.'

Kevin turned to his  younger brother and said,

"Ryan, you be  Jesus!"

 :lol:  :P  :D   :)  :lol:  :P  :D   :)

A father was at the  beach with his children

when the four-year-old  son ran up to him,

grabbed his hand, and  led him to the shore

where a seagull lay  dead in the sand.

"Daddy, what happened  to him?" the son asked.

"He died and went to  Heaven," the Dad replied.

The boy thought a  moment and then said,

"Did God throw him back  down?"

 :lol:  :P  :D   :)  :lol:  :P  :D   :)

A wife invited some  people to dinner.

At the table, she  turned to their six-year-old daughter and said,

"Would you like to say  the blessing?"

"I wouldn't know what  to say," the girl replied.

"Just say what you hear  Mommy say," the wife answered.

The daughter bowed her  head and said,

"Lord, why on earth did  I invite all these people to dinner?"