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විනෝදය සහ ආශ්වාදය - fun & entertainment => සිනා සිසී තර වෙන්න | pissu talks [jokes] => Topic started by: Sachitha on August 02, 2005, 05:41:47 PM

Title: Jokzzzzzz 2
Post by: Sachitha on August 02, 2005, 05:41:47 PM
Little Johnny's father said, "let me see your report card."
Johnny replied, "I don't have it."
"Why not?" His father asked.
"My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."

~~~~~

Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
"Why?" asks the father.
"The teacher asked 'How much is 2 x 3?' I said 6.
"But that's right!"
"Then she asked me 'How much is 3 x 2?'
"What's the fuXXing difference?" asks the father.
"That's what I said!"

~~~~~

Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, "Mommy, can little girls have babies?"
"No," said his mom, "of course not."
Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, "It's okay, we can play that game again!"

~~~~~

Teachers never give up, and neither does Little Johnny. She asks him, "Can you name the Great Lakes?"
You know Johnny, he is always fast with an answer, and he pipes up with, "I don't need to. They've already been named."

~~~~~

Little Mary was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Mary?"
"My goldfish died," replied Mary tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him."
The neighbor was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"
Mary patted down the last heap of earth then replied, "That's because he's inside your cat."

~~~~~

"Hey, Mom," asked Little Johnny, "can you give me twenty dollars?"
"Certainly not!" answered his mother.
"If you do," Little Johnny went on, "I'll tell you what dad said to the maid when you were at the beauty shop."
His mother's ears perked up and, grabbing her purse, she handed over the money. "Well? what did he say?"
"He said, 'Hey, Juanita, make sure you wash my socks tomorrow.'"

~~~~~


Little Johnny was heard by his mother reciting his homework: "Two plus two, the son of a b*** is four; four plus four, the son of a b*** is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a b***...'"
"Johnny !" shouted his mother. "Watch your language! You're not allowed to use the swearwords."
"But, Mom," replied the boy, "that's what the teacher taught us, and she said to recite it out loud till we learned it."
Next day Johnny's mother went right into the classroom to complain. "Oh, heavens !" said the teacher. "That's not what I taught them. They're supposed to say, 'Two plus two, the sum of which is four.' "

~~~~~

Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother gently rubbed cold cream on her face.
"Why are you rubbing cold cream on your face, Mommy?" he asked.
"To make myself beautiful," said his mother.
A few minutes later, she began removing the cream with a tissue.
"What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"

~~~~~

Little Johnny was starting his first day at a new school and his father called the teacher to tell her that little Johnny was a big gambler. She said that it was no problem and she has seen worse than that.
After Little Johnny's first day at his new school his father called the teacher to see how it went.
She said, "I think I broke his gambling".
The father asked how and she said, "He bet me $5.00 that I had a mole on my butt, so I pulled down my pants and won his money."
"DAMN!" said the father.
"What's wrong?", the teacher asked.
Little Johnny's father said, "This morning he bet me $100.00 he would see his teacher's butt before the day was over!"